Kisses n'stuff

Brrr

2010-01-07T06:30:00.000-08:00

This morning had Daddy out and about early. Lucky me got to stay inside where it was nice and toasty. Well, nice and toasty compared to being out and about, cuz for me it's still cold inside. I freeze when the temp drops below 68. I'm southern, dammit. I can't deal with cold.

Anyway, the following is a text exchange between us while he was out.

Daddy: Brrr! Cold!
Grayce: Hard nipples type cold.
Daddy: LOL ... cold toes type cold!
Grayce: But cold toes type isn't sexy!
Daddy: ROFL ... you're so cute.

Wha?? Cold toes aren't sexy! Hard nipples however ....

Expanding Horizons

2010-01-06T02:51:00.000-08:00

Being fairly new to the lifestyle, I often have a hard time finding my place and my role, so to speak. For a while now I have done some experimenting and some research on the different lifestyle roles and how each of them works and the different nuances of each of them. For me, the Daddy Dom role seems to be the most natural however, and this makes me happy. Not only is this something that pleases baby girl to no end, but in my mind, it's how I want to be and it's how I would love to be at all times.

Before, I had always been very vanilla and very plain, I never tried anything that would be considered "kink" at all. However it seems as of late that I've started to feel more and more comfortable in my role as Daddy to baby girl. I adore and love her so very much and I know that she is this amazing and wonderful woman, but I know that she can be even better than she is now and I want to help guide and grow her into this even more amazing and wonderful woman. She can do so much with her life and with herself, and I am so proud of her every time I see those small changes and small victories that she has, I just want to hold her close to me and kiss her and tell my lil' one what a great job she's doing.

As baby girl and I spend more time together and more time getting to know one another, I am starting to learn more about what makes her tick and what works for her. The blog assignment is designed to let her get her creative juices flowing because she sometimes has a hard time with the spoken word, and so it's good for her to release here. Also, it's a weekly reminder of how much I love her and for that time period that she is writing, she will be focused on Daddy and the love that we share together. Lastly, it is a good way for me to get a better understanding of baby girl and what she sees and how she thinks.

In reality this change and experimentation has been good for me and I think that it will continue to be so. Having a relationship like this that is so close and so personal really makes one look in the mirror at themselves and the things that they do. Since I've become more in tune with my Dom side and with the things that I'm doing, it's shown in a variety of ways. I am more confident and I find that I take charge more often. I find myself with more patience to deal with things and instead of getting upset right away, I take the time to listen and find out more information. In dealing with other people, specifically members of the opposite sex, I find that I am more assertive and they are responding much differently than they used to. It's really crazy sometimes the difference between the way I used to be and the way I am now that I've embraced the lifestyle and the role that I've got in it.

That's not to say that I'm becoming perfect by any means. I know that there is still alot for me to learn and that there will be more for me to learn as time goes by. I am very fortunate that I have someone so knowledgeable to get input from and to bounce ideas off of. It certainly takes the edge off of trying to learn alone, that is for sure.

For the moment, I am very interested in seeing how all of this turns out and where it goes. So I will continue to grow and learn and live the wonderful life that I have embraced and see how things go from there.

BDJ

Wow

2010-01-05T06:23:00.000-08:00

The year is starting off with a bang, and I am loving it.

New stuff:

BDJ and I have moved more into D/s as he becomes more comfortable with it. He's found his niche as a DaddyDom and needless to say I'm thrilled about that. Had his desire taken him into another realm, I know without a doubt I'd have gone there with him and tried. But with the DaddyDom aspect, it just seems to fit his personality, very true to who he is as a person.
New Rules - I am the type of person who functions best with the rules laid out. I know not every situation can be thought up in advance, and there's a lot to be said for a sub to show how she handles an unexpected set of circumstances - ie will she remain true to the spirit and teachings of her Dominant. But on the whole, I am very happy with at least knowing where the fences are and an overall knowledge of expected behavior from me. (Besides, a girl's gotta know which rules are 'safe' to break and which ones are untouchable. The 'safe' ones are the ones that may get ya a hot bottom and/or cornertime. The untouchable ones are the ones that will end up damaging the overall relationship.)
Bottom plug (training?) - Daddy has put a plug in my bottom during sleep time a couple of times in the past, but I kinda got the feeling it wasn't something he was interested in for the most part, which was a bummer (no pun intended) cuz I'm very anal erotic. Being penetrated there immediately brings me into an extremely submissive mindset - but only when he does it, not if I am left to my own devices. Basically, I don't want the choice. I want to have to ask if I may have one in, but even that loses something. It's kinda like asking for someone to buy you flowers. The end result (again, no pun) is still the same, but the circumstance definitely isn't. Anyway, the other night we were getting ready to play WoW together. I asked if I could go get a drink and go potty before we got started (I'm learning to ask permission, even though he always says yes. It makes me feel good to ask.) He said yes, then said, "Baby girl, go put the plug in." I think I blinked then blushed. I may have blushed first then blinked, who knows. Time kinda stopped cuz this hit me out of the blue. No warning at all. I did as I was told and returned to the computer room to be greeted by a wicked smile. I sat down gingerly, cuz I had the larger plug in. It's a Jeweled Plug and is stainless steel. The jeweled base of it is therefore rigid and the last thing I wanted was to sit wrong and have it pinch my inner butt cheek. He had another surprise in store for me though. It wasn't a few seconds after I sat that I felt his hand sliding under my bottom to actually check to make sure I'd done what I was told. The message was very clear -- it's his bottom, to do with as he pleases, and I was being reminded of that. Looking back now I'm actually surprised - and very thankful - that I didn't end up bottom-up over his lap for him to get a good look at the plug nestled between my cheeks and then feel it as he did some oh so helpful "adjusting". The man knows how to tease and torment. After four hours or so I was allowed to go remove it. It stung a bit coming back out, as most of the water-based lube had evaporated. It was a damn good sting tho. It felt like my bottom hole had been spanked, but the sting faded all too soon, however I was left with that secure soreness that I seem to crave. It's like a constant, quiet reminder as to who is in charge. We played some more then got ready for bed - ok, he played, I tried to play between whimpers and squirms, being severely distracted. I was trying so hard to get my head in the game but I had so much whirling through my mind and nether regions that I couldn't focus. As we settled in for sleep, I once more felt the plug pushing into my bottom. He had decided I'd sleep with it in! This was two nights ago and I'm still feeling like I'm drifting in sub-mind space. From my point of view, having my bottom invaded, spread and held open like that makes me much more compliant, softer and definitely Daddy's good girl. Wonder what he experiences and sees as far as changes in my behavior when I'm plugged or have recently been plugged. God! See? Two days later and I'm still obsessing over it. I'm horrible.
A shaved kitty makes Daddy purr. And I mean, completely shaved. No landing strip. No cute little tuft of hair at the top of lips. Completely shaven and bare.
I'm learning that being called "little one" or "little girl" does pretty much the same thing to me as a bottom plug does - although I feel it in my heart instead of my bottom. I don't "hear" it as the equivalent of "child", because I'm not a child and Daddy doesn't view me as one, not in the least. I "hear" it as a reminder that I'm submissive and expected to behave and that he loves that I am and do. It also is a clear reminder to me of my place when I'm skating too close to the line, so it has multiple uses.
I'm learning that I like pacifiers. A lot. Ok, let me back up. I like the idea of them. I ran across one that I pulled out of a gift basket. It is still in the packaging, never used. I'd be straight up lying if I said that the thought of opening it and using it during a nap didn't cross my mind. I'm also trying extremely hard to forget the fact that Daddy will be reading this later, cuz the very idea of this has me wanting to crawl into a hole. The fact is though, I like to suck, and if I can't have his cock in my mouth, then why not a pacifier? Hmm, naptime pacified and plugged? Wonder if I'd get any sleep at all being reminded who owns my bottom as well as my mouth? Ok, where is that damn hole to crawl into?
Blogging - I'm now to write in this blog at least once a week. No guidelines were given, so I'm going with the idea that he just wants me to be expressing myself. He knows that I have a hard time finding my words and that blogging gives me the freedom to express myself without the frustration of worrying about getting my words wrong.
The Other Blog - We started a fantasy blog together, and that's where I will be posting ideas, dirty thoughts and dreams of both the night time and day time variety, although through the holidays it was impossible to write there (as well as here.) Hard to be creative and in the writing zone when you've got a kid or two looking over your shoulder. Once it has some content, we may or may not link it to this one. We'll have to see.

The kids are all back in school, the house is quiet and I'm going to celebrate by crawling back into bed and taking a nap -- or by looking for that damn hole. No, not the one between my cheeks. I know where that one is! :p

Be careful what you wish for?

2009-12-21T02:49:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I can spend hours during any given night trying to get Daddy to pull my panties down, yet when it finally happens, I end up blushing crimson and all I want more than anything is for them to be pulled back up?

Indecisive much, Graycie?

Ugh!

By the way - we're back, I think. :)

Listening

2009-09-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

I'm in trouble. :(

Evidentally I haven't been listening when BDJ tells me to do (or not to do) things. The other night he had to tell me to tell him something 3 times before I told him. I thought he was just playing, teasing me, cuz whatever it was (i've forgotten what it was) wasn't anything serious. I also didn't call my doctor Monday, like I was supposed to, cuz I was sick and felt crappy, but I guess that's not reason enough. So, tonight I get to contemplate the carpet around his spanking chair while he "discusses" the matter with my bottom.

Part of my punishment is making a blog about listening to Daddy and why it is important, along with why he tells me the things he does and why I need to be reminded sometimes. Listening to him is important because he catches a lot of things I miss or neglect. He knows that I am a terrible procrastinator. Or is it that I'm a great procrastinator? Hmmm? Anyway, I procrastinate. A lot. Soooo, he keeps me on my toes, making sure I do the things that are important. He does these things because he loves me. He makes sure I'm not neglecting myself, which, as any working mother (and working includes stay at home moms cuz duh that's work!) tends to be all too familiar with. Also, because of my surgery, I should be resting, altho my brain stubbornly refuses to accept this. (But I am getting better at it!)

He thinks I don't listen. It's not that. Honest. I do listen. My god I've craved someone to take me in hand for a long time and he's stepped up to the plate, doing it unselfishly and beautifully. I hear everything he says, and I hear the unsaid things too. I am extremely tuned into him. My god, the man can exhale and I'm listening closely.

No, it's not that I don't listen. It's that I don't remember. My memory is crappy. I'm the first to admit that. And I'm so easily distracted that if I'm doing something like playing a game, I forget to remember some of the rules and guidelines BDJ has set down for me -- i.e. bedtime and eating and taking naps.

I need to be reminded, but probably not for the reason he was anticipating when he told me to blog about this. I'm fairly sure he was thinking the reason I needed to be reminded was to learn to listen to him, to learn to know why I get in trouble when I don't do what I'm told to do.

Actually, I need to be reminded for exactly the reason I stated up above -- because my brain just plain forgets it. Granted the issue with my memory isn't just a matter of someone who conveniently forgets things she doesn't want to do. It's a medical condition, caused by stress. It's a long story, but my doctor has been working with me on it. The problem is the more stressed I get, the more my brain lets go of. The way it was explained to me by my doctor is that my brain had so much important information coming in that it started letting go of things that weren't absolutely crucial. Kind of like it was culling information based on what it determined was important. During that difficult period in my life, what was going on with me wasn't crucial. I was dealing with my father's battle with lymphoma, then his declining health and eventually his passing away, to be followed five months later by the diagnosis of my mom's kidney cancer. So yeah, my brain trained itself to kind of ignore anything that wasn't absolutely important to remember. I literally can forget something someone tells me in a matter of minutes, until reminded again. It hasn't relearned how to process things "normally" again yet and I've been told it could take years.

Now, that said, BDJ knows enough about my memory problems that he gives me two prompts. He shouldn't have to tell me to do something a third time. So yes, I can understand about the time when he had to ask me three times to tell him something, even tho I honestly thought we were just playing the "tell me" "nooo" "tellll me" "noooo" game. The calling the doctor matter .. umm .. I'm kinda spotty on but I'm sure he'll explain it to me. In all fairness, telling me that I need to do something more than an hour before I'm supposed to do it is going to prove fruitless - Example: Telling me on Friday, Saturday or Sunday to do something Monday morning - I'll honestly forget in the intervening time period. :(

Why does he do this? Simple. He loves me.

And I love him for taking me in hand. It makes my heart feel so much at home and it makes me relax because I know he's watching out for me, catching the things that I miss. He's like my security blanket.

Just one that spanks.

Small victories

2009-09-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

Today I managed to clean off half of the vanity in the master bath, throwing away out of date cosmetics and stuff, as well as straightening things up, putting things back where they go and wiping down the counter top.

Then I moved to the Hell Hole - aka Laundry Room. I got two loads of clothes washed, dried, folded/hung and put away. I just moved slowly, making sure not to jerk my shoulder while absentmindedly snapping wrinkles out of shirts.

I also told Tyr (my co-manager at work) that no, I didn't have time to meet with him right after the other meeting with our boss. I was hungry and tired and just wanted to eat and take a nap. I told him I would meet with him in the morning.

Yeah, I know - most of you are scratching your head and thinking "Um, not impressive", but before ya go calling it weak sauce, you need to know that I'm still recovering from some very painful shoulder surgery. Actually, I've been in pain for a long long time, but today I managed to get thru the day without any pain meds at all! GO ME! I'm thinking that just the simple, smooth movements I've made with my arm today have helped, at least in some small way. They've gently worked the muscles so that they aren't almost atrophied. Anyway, I've been unable to do the simplest of tasks for the past ohh, three or so months, so while the things I did today weren't anything major for most people, they were huge for me. :)

Now I'm about to hit up WoW and entice BDJ to come play with me. I've missed him so much today, and our evenings didn't turn out how we expected. But I'm free, and I think he is too - so playtime! YAY!

Yes, I really am that long winded...

2009-09-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ah! My first day back at school for the fall quarter. It has been such a weird adventure going back to school after 15 years of no official schooling, and the first quarter back (last quarter) was a learning experience. I learned that school really wasn't as easy as I remembered it being and it as alot more work. I listen twice now when my children tell me they are having a tough time.

So I'm working towards an Associate in Applied Science in Automotive Mechanics. Today I sat in a room with a bunch of other people and got to listen to their different work histories and it made me think a little bit about mine and how diverse it is and what I hope to accomplish with this degree. And honestly I'm not quite sure exactly where I want to go. I have a rough idea, but listening to the guys in the glass today, I appear to have a better idea than some of them and not as good as some others.

So I thought perhaps getting my work experience out in front of me for me to look at, I could maybe throw something more concrete together. Or hell, Grayce will just get to learn a bit more about me. Really, it's all gravy.

I started out as most kids did I think, working with family. We used to go pick strawberries in the fields when I was a kid. That wasn't really alot of money and it mostly went to my parents, but it was something. Around 15 I started working at a Transfer Station, which is basically a cooler name for a place for people to dumb their trash and recyclables. We would take it, separate any hazardous materials that we saw and then use a big CAT to dump it all into a packing machine that shoved it into trucks to go to the landfill. We used to get inside the packing machine and have to clean out the sludge from under it. Shovels full of wet/dry garbage that accumulated for 6 months under the machine. When people complain about having to scrub a toilet, I chuckle to myself. I did this with my best friend and his dad and it was a great time.

After that I started working at a golf course doing dishes. It was a private club in the area and it was crazy expensive for the time; like $40,000 a year for a membership there. I got all the golf I wanted on the course, though I never took advantage of that. In hindsight, I probably should have. It would have been fun I think.

Next was working at an injection molding plant. My mother got me the job there and it was good. My first full time job, and I learned quite a bit. I started being just a machine operator cutting plastic pieces and putting them into boxes as they came off the machines. But I have a love of learning and I quickly started working on the machines. Putting molds in, taking molds out, cleaning them and taking them apart. It's quite the adventure taking a 700-800lb stainless steel mold out of a machine with a forklift without dropping it. Chains and loops and tilting, oh my! While I worked this full time job, I also picked up a part time job at Fred Meyers in the evenings working in the deli.

This is where I switched career styles to going from more manual labor work to sit down, more professional work. I got a job at a PCB (Printed Circuit Board) manufacturing plant, working in the SMT (Surface Mount Technology) department. Basically took blank circuit boards and put all the surface mounted electrical components on them and baked them in a big oven so the solder melted them into place. Then we washed them and sent them to the customer. If you've ever seen some of these components, you know how painstakingly time consuming this could be because they are so small and have such small margin for error. During this part of my career, I worked my way up into being the Lead on the swing shift. I also almost exclusively did their ISO9000 documentation for them, documenting every single thing we did in the department. We were the only department that passed the inspection on the first try.

After this, I moved onto a place that tested the circuit boards before they were sent to manufacturing plants (like the one I just left) to have components added to it. This was a pretty boring job. You basically took a board and put it on a machine and then tested it. It either passed or failed and then you had to find out why it failed if you could.

At this point, it's the beginning of the end. I start my career in the computer world. Took a job doing Technical Support for Gateway computers. The next few years were a blur of Technical Support jobs at different places. If you've ever worked technical support, you know what I mean. It's like one big blob of craziness in my life. I did support for Gateway and Micron computers. Wee...

And then I went to work for the big guys up in Redmond, WA; Microsoft. If you've never been to Microsoft, if you get the chance, swing by their campus. It's worth it. It's huge and they treat their employees well. VERY well. Free drinks and snacks for all employees and guests. Popcorn, Milk, Chocolate Milk, Soda, Juice, Crackers, Cookies all line the break rooms in big refrigerators and cupboards. They pay well and they give you great benefits if you're a full time employee there, but they expect alot as well. Unfortunately the job I had was a temp one and so my time there was not as long lived as I would have liked. I did performance testing on Widows ME. Yeah, it really does suck that bad.

Next was Voicestream Wireless in a complete 180 of what I had been doing previously. I started working in the Accounts Payable department doing financial work for them. I knew how to work a 10 key and I knew how to talk to people on the phone. The rest is just numbers, which is pretty easy.

Now comes a sad part in my career life. After being jobless for far too long, I took a job as a telemarketer. Yes, you read that right. One of them annoying people that calls you during dinner and at the most inopportune times, selling home security systems. The deal was good, but I could never get passed the idea that I was calling people that didn't ask for it. Needless to say, after a month of working there, they told me they needed to move me to another position that suited my talents more. I ended up being their computer guy for a while before finally settling into the office manager position.

And then...

I feel like this is going on forever. Does everyone have this many jobs in their life?

Then was an ISP (Internet Service Provider). Again doing technical support for people that couldn't connect via Dialup, DSL, or had issues with their website. I interviewed for this job while my wife was in labor at the hospital. Yes, I did. Long story, I can tell later. Anyhow, I started out knowing *NOTHING* about this job. 5 years later, I was supervising my own special team and responsible for the scheduling and management of 50+ employees.

Next after that, I started into the Healthcare field a bit. I worked for Kaiser Permanente locally, working in their Membership Services department. GREAT place to work and very employee friendly. They also really care about their members. I basically took phone calls, complaints and helped members with anything they needed help with. If they didn't know where to go with something, tha's what we were there for.

And finally working at AMR (American Medical Response). I was their system administrator for the entire region, working on the computers in the ambulances as well as their computers in the multiple stations throughout the area, making sure they are working and up to date. I also was responsible for the dispatcher computers. Not only computers but phones as well. A very important job and one I loved ALOT. There were alot of late nights and calls in the middle of the night to come in because there were issues with servers or dispatch computers that were vital to getting ambulances to people in time. I took alot of pride in that job and I did the best I could. I also did some security camera installs at this job, which I had no experience in but found out that it wasn't all that hard. Kinda nifty really. During my time here, I did self study and acquired my Network+ Certification from CompTIA.

That was the last job I had before I stopped working and now I'm a full time stay at home dad and student. The hardest job I've ever had has been staying at home. As a man, you take a big hit in the pride when you've always been the bread winner and all of the sudden, someone else is doing it. That was probably the biggest thing for me. But then again, staying at home full time with a new baby is not easy either. I have a new found respect for Women (and men) that stay at home full time. My hats off to you, for sure.

So, my thought after this long winded post is this. I've got a decent electronics background and experience. I've also got a pretty good computer background. Add on to that some mechanical experience and training and there really won't be alot of things I can't work on, on some level. So that is where my mind is right now. Engineering maybe? I'm not really sure yet. Right now I just know that I'm rolling with it and seeing where everything goes. Because when it comes down to it, I'm pretty laid back and I don't like forcing things when I don't need to. So for now, I will see how things go and just keep heading in this general direction.

*insert pointing*

BDJ

Learning

2009-09-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

I found this meme over at angelbrat454's:

Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire? I absolutely loathe being cold, so inside by the fire sounds perfect.

Would you rather be spanked in public or in private? Public would only work for me if I knew it was a safe environment. Private is an always. :)

Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked? Actually be spanked. Fantasizing about it just causes frustration.

Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker's pleasure? That'd be up to him, wouldn't it?

Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Hand, although hairbrushes have their place.

Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? Definitely the belt, canes scare the heck out of me!

Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Crop, I like the sting of the crop better than the thud of a paddle.

Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? I want him holding me in place.

Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? If he spanks me to tears, then he'll end up arousing me, although I may not want to do anything about that arousal until later.

Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? A red bottom honestly is all it is going to take for him to get his point across.

Would you rather be spanked for the naughty things you have done or just because you enjoy the experience? For the naughty things I've done -- and sometimes I do them just to get a spanking cuz I enjoy the experience. I can easily differentiate between getting spanked for being naughty and for getting spanked for fun.

Would you rather be spanked with panties up or panties down? Down, and I need him to be the one to pull them down.

Would you rather be spanked somewhat clothed or entirely naked? Somewhat clothed. Having just my bottom exposed reinforces my situation, in my mind. It makes me keenly aware of my bottom, what's happening to it, and why.

Would you rather your spanking be strictly disciplinarian or sexually attractive in nature? Disciplinarian is sexually attractive to me, altho like I said above, I may not want anything to happen with the arousal caused by a spanking, in fact, that arousal may not even show up until hours later after I've calmed down from the spanking and it hits me that he loves me enough to spank me.

Would you rather be spanked by a male or by a female? Male. I don't see females as authority figures for me.

Would you rather be cuddled or scolded after your spanking? Scolded before and during, then cuddled after the spanking.

Would you rather be spanked OTK or bent over a table/chair? OTK, please. I feel safe and comforted there.

Would you rather your spanker have physical contact with you? It's critical that during as much as possible of the spanking, he's touching me, in some way. I feel too isolated if there's no physical contact. It's scary.

Would you prefer to be spanked in the woods with a tree branch, bent over the hood of a car, or in a school with a ruler bent over the desk of your teacher/principal? Branch?? Oh lord, please say that means a switch. LOL I'll take the school scenario. Rulers are wicked little instruments, just perfect for getting into hard to reach areas.

Would you rather be a brat to your spanker to deserve a spanking or simply ask your spanker for a spanking because you know you needed it? I don't think of myself as a brat, although I will let my actions ask for me if I feel like I need a spanking. The only time I'd ever ask for a spanking is if I wanted an erotic one.

Have you received a spanking in the past week? Umm, I don't think it was this week. J? Help?

Would you rather be spanked for the physical pleasure or the emotional release? Emotional release.

Would you rather tell your best friends you enjoy be spanked or keep it secret? My best friends already know.

Would you rather spanking be a lifestyle choice or just something you dabble in? Lifestyle choice, because I need the consistency.

Would you rather your lover be a vanilla or a spankoholic too? I'm so glad he's into it. I'd feel bad if he just did it for me.

Would you rather be spanked by a stranger or by someone who knew you well? He's got to know me well or it won't work for me.

Would you rather be spanked by despotic, mean person or by a compassionate, benevolent person? Compassionate but very firm. I mean, he spanks me because he loves me.

Would you rather be talked to while you are spanked or no talking at all? I like being talked to.

Would you rather get one swat at a time with pauses to let the sting set in or a continuous tanning to build up the fire? Mixture of both ... one at a time with pauses to let the sting set in, until I'm warmed up, then a flurry of swats to bring up the burn and drive his point home.

Would you rather be forced into a spanking or willingly submit into a spanking? This is tricky for me. Since I give my consent, isn't that willingly submitting? If forced means, pulled over his lap, or bent/tucked against his hip, or firmly bent over the arm of the couch, etc, then yes.

Would you rather have a safe word or be pushed beyond your preconceived limits? I want a safeword to use only when something is wrong, but not to be used when I'm "done" as it's not my place to decide when I'm well spanked.

Would you rather your spanker know your spanking history or is ignorance bliss? I'd rather he knows.

Would you rather be spanked by multiple people at one time or just by one person at one time? Just one.

Would you rather be spanked once a day or once every few months? Once a day.

Would you rather your spanker be deeply in tune or be totally unaffected to your experience as a spankee? Wow, seriously? In tune, definitely! If he's not, why the hell is he spanking me?

Would you rather a closer physical relationship or a closer emotional relationship with your spanker? Gotta have both.

Would you rather your spanker ice your bottom down after a spanking or send you to the corner to display his/her accomplishment? Send me to the corner because that does wicked things to me, then call me out and put lotion on my bottom.

Would you rather your spanker be the person you wish to live the rest of your life with (i.e. marriage) or the person you can call on when your tushy tickles? Spanking booty-calls? LOL Nah, I'll pass on that. I want him deeply involved with my day to day.

Would you rather spanking be a part of love making or not a part of love making? No love making if it's a punishment/disciplinary spanking, please.

Would you rather your spanker have total control over you when you are being spanked or do you still want to have some control while you are being spanked? I absolutely need him to be in control, although sometimes I have a hard time letting go of it.

Would you rather be humiliated or respected during your spanking? Respected, yet embarrassed. I don't do humiliation or degradation, at all.

Would you rather spanking become part of a bigger BDSM alternative lifestyle or spanking just be spanking for spanking sake? I'd like it to be part of the bigger picture.

Would you rather be filmed during a spanking to share your exhibitionist naughtiness or are you too modest to show your bum to the world? Filming it isn't an interest of mine, but being spanked in front of like minded friends is fine. Spanking, for me, is an affirmation of love, caring and respect and I seriously doubt that'd come across on film.

Would you rather your spanking be gentle and gradual or painful and abrupt? It depends upon the situation.

Would you rather be defiant or fearful going into a spanking? Funny thing - defiance leaves real fast once the swats start falling.

Would you rather be spanked exclusively in your own bedroom or anyplace else other than your own bedroom? Mostly the bedroom, but that whole getting spanked in semi-public thing is appealing too.

Would you rather be spanked exclusively on your bottom or other places could be interesting too? I'd rather he sticks mainly to my bottom, but other places can be interesting too.

Would you rather a spanking be a surprise or be something you have to look forward to? I'm nearly always surprised to find out I'm going to be spanked.

Would you rather spanking be a part of role playing kinkiness or a response to events that have happened in reality? A response to real events, please.

Playing & Working

2009-09-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

New template cuz that other one was way too sedate for us. :)

Busy day today. I've got a manager's meeting at 10:00 am and J starts his class at 11:00.

I've also got to call not one but two doctors to see about getting some meds refilled. After breaking down yesterday and crying for a half hour in the tub, I realized that I needed to get a grip on things, stop focusing on what I can't do and start focusing on what I can do and doing what I can to boost those abilities. The recovery from shoulder surgery is a helluva lot more involved than I thought it would be. I've had surgeries before and had relatively fast recuperation times, bouncing back rather quickly in most cases. This is the first time I've been left struggling, and in all honesty some days I wonder if I wasn't better off before surgery. Bah, all I know is that I've been in various states of pain since March/April and it's getting extremely old. Chronic pain wears you down. You wouldn't think so, but my doctor likened it to the Chinese Water Torture -- one little drop of water on your forehead is nothing. One thousand little drops of water on your forehead is a whole different ballgame. Chronic pain invades every part of your life. So much so that yesterday, in the tub, when I had 10-15 whole minutes without any pain at all, I was completely dumbfounded. I was even afraid to move, for fear the pain would start up again. So I sat there, just savoring the lack of pain. It's baffling when lack of pain is so out of the norm that you actually take notice of it.

To New Experiences with a Wonderful Partner...

2009-09-21T01:06:00.000-07:00

~shakes the dust from his blogging fingers and starts to flex them~

Well here I am, all moved in and stuff. Just figured I'd do a post too since my lovely Baby Girl did one as well. I'm the other half and I look forward to embarking on this journey with her. I love and adore her and together I think we'll have wonderful things to write about. :-)

I love you baby.

J

Moving in

2009-09-21T00:49:00.000-07:00

~clears away the dust, resisting the urge to sneeze, and looks around~

Yep, I think this will do nicely.

I'm Grayce, one half of Kisses n'stuff. My other half will be along shortly, I hope.